Sunday, March 13, 2011

Normal?

Lately ive been realising that in terms of my bulimia it seems like nothing can scare me enough to make me stop. The gastroscopy came back clear. Maybe thats a good thing maybe its bad. I still have stomach pain and no answer to why. All i know is its not a stomach ulcer and its not gall stones. The point is the pain should scare me, all the doctors visits and medical procedures should scare me into stopping... but they dont. If anything the binging and purging is getting more frequent. I just take it as a normal part of life. I will even go out for dinner with friends and casually go to the toilet after to purge. They have no idea. Its becoming to normal. like whenever i get a chance to binge i will. Its just another task in the day. I know i need to stop but i dont know how. Its like telling someone not to walk or talk or breathe even. That sounds overdramatic but its how i feel right now. Eh im just venting my frustrations. hope you all are having a good day. Xo

2 comments:

  1. I am sorry that you have pain, but at least the results were good. It is like an addiction, this binging and purging. Oh, I'm glad you don't have ulcer.
    Love

    ~ Meg

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  2. ur like me ur sick but theres no answer y ugh
    ims orry that ur ed is starting to get that bad but i know what u mean i get like that all the time
    take care

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