I am not doing well these last few days. i just ate a bag of candy/lollie snakes (approx 700 cal) in like 2 minutes and then purged. it took me longer to purge them than to eat them :(
Whats the point of binging if you cant even enjoy the junk youre eating. I wish i could just stop eating, but i get so weak and dizzy after even 12 hours. I literally cant function when i dont eat. I used to be able to do it in high school, now my body is old and weak even if i am only 21.
The real bad thing is that if it werent for that binge today would have been good foodwise. I had 3 healthy meals that would have come in at around 900 cals.
Im hoping that this need to binge over the last few days is due to the fact that my period is coming. I hope it comes soon too so that i dont have it when i start back at uni next week.
Im so paranoid of people going through my room incase they find my bong or my bags of puke. i dont know which would be worse. Im too scared to purge in the toilet like a "normal person" coz people might hear me.
I wish i were a normal person, with a normal BMI, and a normal brain, who could be happy just being normal.