Monday, April 9, 2012

Another Easter

Blegh... Easter... one of my most hated times of the year.
I was 8 years ago now that i was in hospital begging them to let me stay there so i wouldnt have to face the outside world.
Ive come a long way since then. Ups and downs and all that jazz. I still remember it every year though, it reminds me that things arent so bad. I nearly cry when i think about that little girl, i was so lost.
Is horrible to say but sometimes i miss those times... when i was broken and all i had was my insanity, i was free to crawl inside my head and be devoured by my sadness. now i am grown up, i have responsibilities, i can no longer allow myself to run away for it would be selfish. i know better now... but i wish i didnt.

Monday, April 2, 2012

I feel the need...

The need for weed...
This trying to quit my cannabis habit is not fun. I just want to calm down and be able to sleep but nooooo. its been 3 days... im coping during the day, but not at night.
I think its worse that i was using it as a form of self medication. now im in pain and i cant sleep.
So yeh im here to vent my frustration. I finished my sociology assignment today, so it was in on time thank god. Hanging out for easter break. only 2 days of uni and 1 day of work to go.
I want to run away. escape life for a while. explore somewhere new. breathe in fresh air, walk aimlessly and just relax.... maybe i will go meditate on those thoughts... mabe it could help...
Goodnight... hopefully...